A Hospital Visit (A journal entry from Nov 22, 2018)

In the last 30 mins I have felt such variety of emotions, I am surprised. So I am at some hospital. The moment I entered my first thought was damn hospitals are sad. Then from random contemplation on sadness, I felt it’s a good business. I could see people swarming in and out with their cars at parking. It was non stop. How much money would I make if I owned a hospital this huge ! I moved in to the cafeteria and I swear we are all such victims of commercialisation. There was kfc and pizza hut in there ! I ordered an uttapam and filter coffee for myself. I have to say all this is pretty distracting. From the sadness. Or maybe I felt it because I didn’t feel any sadness in the first place at all. I don’t know. Can’t really say.

So I was sipping coffee and looking around at people and another wave of emotions hit me. I could literally feel the dramatic shift from my left to right, right in front of my self proclaimed directorial sight. On my left was a family of 4. They were clicking selfies. It came as a shock to me. I mean you are in a hospital !!! But then I thought maybe I am being too judgemental. Just because they are at a place with so many sad stories, doesn’t mean theirs has to be a sad story too. Maybe they were here for a random checkup. So I left that trail of thought. To my right was a woman, in her 40s, sitting there with a blank expression, lost deep in her thoughts, with her food plate lying in front of her, untouched . I remembered she got her food tray when I got mine by the way. And I was done eating all of mine. So that means she has been sitting like that for quite some time then. I’ll be honest, at one point I also checked out a guy. Would be a 7/10. So there, another layer of color to my rainbow of emotions in this hospital.

But of all things I have felt, I haven’t felt the primary emotion I should be feeling in a hospital. Worry about the patient I am here for. I think it’s probably because I feel it isn’t serious and that he is just fine. Just some tests. Or maybe I am just a cold psycho bitch.

I’d like to accept the former one.